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People Watching/Transcript
Big City streets (Episode title appears on the back of someone's jacket; the Greens are sitting on the steps of a building eating ice cream.) Cricket: Whoa, look at that guy! (Shows the people they're looking at; the first is a green skinned punk-dressed man with a mohawk.) Tilly: Ooh, spiky. (A purple skinned male teen DJ hobbling with baggy pants and a radio over one shoulder.) Nancy: How is he movin' with his pants like that? (A green skinned woman on the phone and pushing a dog in a pram and carrying more dogs in a baby sling and her purse.) Cricket: (laughs) That's not how you walk a dog! Tilly: Here in Big City, you see a new face every day, Mama. Gramma: Back in the country, you saw the same five people. (ominously) And you knew all their secrets. (licks her popsicle) Bill: (chuckles) Yeah. It's weird livin' someplace where you don't know all your neighbors. Nancy: You don't know these people? I do. Cricket, Tilly: What!? Nancy: Their names, jobs, everything. Tilly: Wow, Mama! Cricket: Yeah, how do ya already know all that stuff? Nancy: Easy -- the People Watchin' game. Bill: Oh, boy. Not this game again! Nancy: (smugly) You just don't like it 'cause you ain't creative. (Cricket licks his ice cream.) Bill: (offended) Hey! I'm plenty creative! Nancy: Bill, you once told me your favorite food was water. Bill: If it's good enough for my crops, it's good enough for me. (silently licks his ice cream; suddenly hot) Oh! Ah! Oh, this vanilla ice cream is so spicy! Nancy: So...the People Watchin' game. It's simple: you just pick a random person and imagine what they're like. See that lady by the window? (She looks at a purple skinned woman with side swept blonde hair next to the bus stop; she is looking at her reflection in the windows.) Nancy (OS): That's Winifred Miltington. She just got a new job as a window washer! Nancy's story (Changes to the woman, Winifred, standing on a platform and wearing window cleaner clothes and holding a squeegee. She starts cleaning the windows.) Nancy (VO): She's determined to be great at it, except there's just one problem... (She drops her squeegee and looks over the platform in real fear.) Nancy (VO): She's deathly afraid of heights. (A zoom out shows the platform hasn't even left the ground; a man comes by and hands Winifred her squeegee back.) Man (Tilly's voice): Oh, no. So what'd she do? Nancy (VO): Well, Winifred wasn't ready to give up, so to overcome her fear... (Winifred blindfolds herself.) Nancy (VO): She put on a blindfold so she couldn't see how high she was. (She starts cleaning.) Nancy (VO): It was dangerous, but she cleaned every window on the building. (She removes her blindfold once she reaches the top that sunset; zooms out to reveal poor wash lines all over the glass.) Nancy (VO): Course she didn't do a very good job because she couldn't see anything, but -- she overcame her fear! Bird (Cricket's voice): (lands on Winifred's shoulder) Whoa, Mom! How'd you know all that? Streets (Shifts back to reality.) Cricket: Can you read minds? Nancy: No-o-o...no, no. That's the game. You can just make up whatever you want. Tilly: So what happens next? Nancy (VO): Anything. Like...uh... Nancy's story Nancy (VO): She suddenly grew wings! (Winifred's arms turn into eagle wings and she flies away.) Nancy (VO): And flew awayyyyyyyyyy...!!! Street Tilly: Truly inspiring. Cricket: Okay, Dad. Now you try! Tilly: Maybe you'll like it this time. Bill: I dunno...I can never think of ideas. I just can't find the...inspiration. Gramma: C'mon, Bill! The worse you could do is deeply disappoint us. (All flash him convincing smiles.) Bill: All right! All right! Hmm... (He scans the street.) Bill (OS): Uhhhh... (sees a purple skinned senior man) Aha! That's uh...Bill! Cricket (OS): Dad! Bill (OS): No, no, I-I mean, Phil! Bill's story (The scene changes to a white sheet with stick figure doodles; the old man, Phil, stands alone.) Bill (VO): Yeah...Phil. (We see each element appear as he mentions it.) Bill (VO): Phil lives in a house...on a street...next to more houses! And his house has four...no, that's ridiculous. Eh -- three windows. Flower (Nancy's voice): (pops up) Good start, but, um...how 'bout more details? What color's the house? Sun (Tilly's voice): (comes down) Is it rainbow? (The house becomes rainbow colored.) Phil (Bill's voice): Even better. It's white! (The house turns back to white.) Sun (Tilly's voice): ...Oh. Street (The screen rips apart to reveal an agitated Cricket.) Cricket: All right, that's enough!! Dad, I love you, you know that, but this story is going absolutely nowhere. Bill: Aww, what?! I was really havin' fun with Phil's story. I didn't even get to talk about his walls -- they're also white! Cricket: (shushes him) Nnnnope! Too boring! I'm takin' over. A good story needs action! Intrigue. And lots of twists! Allow me to demonstrate. (He lets his eyes scan the street.) Cricket (OS): Hmm.... (They fall on a yellow skinned businessman with purple hair and wearing a blue tuxedo and coming out of a jewelry store while reading a newspaper.) '''Cricket (OS):' Aha! Hiding behind that completely average appearance is the world renowned super spy... (The man raises the newspaper and lowers it; he has changed into an animesque appearance.) Cricket (OS): Falcon Tuxedo! Cricket's story (The man, Falcon, drives a motorcycle through a manga-style city before he jumps off.) Cricket (VO): Falcon is a businessman, lawyer, and citizen of Explosion City. (He is in front of City Hall; the motorcycle explodes.) Falcon (Cricket's voice): Time to go to work. (He barges in; a hearing is going on.) Judge (Cricket's voice): Order in the court! We find this man of not selling enough money! Falcon (Cricket's voice): Objection! Why sell money...when you can BUY IT!? (He fires a blinding ray from his finger, causing one of the lenses on the judge's glasses to break.) Judge (Cricket's voice): Ah...ah...NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (Blue light shines from him and he explodes.) Court reporter (Tilly's voice): Wow, that was a great story, Cricket. Falcon (Cricket's voice): I'M NOT DONE YET! (The court reporter also explodes.) Criminal (Cricket's voice): Thanks for gettin' ridda the judge, Falcon! But I was guilty the whole time! Falcon (Cricket's voice): Ehhhhhhhhhh...?! Criminal (Cricket's voice): I LOVE CRIME! (He escapes through the roof on a helicopter, laughing.) Pilot (Bill's voice): Why is there a helicopter? Criminal (Cricket's voice): There's always a helicopter! (Falcon rips off his tuxedo to reveal a jetpack underneath; he takes off.) Cricket (VO): Falcon blasted off after the criminal, but the criminal was ready with a giant rocket launcher! (A rocket launches; Falcon repels it back.) Cricket (VO): But Falcon's dance moves were too good! (The rocket causes the helicopter to explode; the criminal falls.) Cricket (VO): And then the helicopter exploded, and the criminal was hurled through the sky, but Falcon swept in and saved him!!!!! (Falcon grabs the criminal and flies with him.) Criminal (Cricket's voice): You saved me...but after I betrayed you. Why? Falcon (Cricket's voice): 'Cause I can never let you die...brother. Criminal (Cricket's voice): Huh!?! Falcon (Cricket's voice): WHA!?!?! Criminal (Cricket's voice): WHAAAAAAA!?!?! Falcon (Cricket's voice): WHOAAAAOAOA!!!!! Criminal (Cricket's voice): AHHHHHHH!!! WHOA!!! Falcon (Cricket's voice): WHOAAAAAAOAAAOAAAAA!!!! Street (Cricket's head is literally spinning around.) Cricket: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHWHOAWHOAWHOAWHOAWHOAWHOAWHOA!!!!!!!! Ahh...gah... (calms down and pants) And that's...how ya tell a story. (All but Gramma clap.) Tilly: Bravo, brother! Bill: Hahaha, wow! Nancy: What a thrill ride! Gramma: You call that a story?! That was phooey! All flashin' cheap thrills...there was no point to it! Let me show you how it's done. (She searches.) Gramma (OS): Mmm... (stops on a punk dressed teenage girl with purple skin and texting) Ooh! You see that girl over there with a gallon of attitude? Well, she didn't used to be this way... Gramma's story (The view changes to that of a medieval painting; the girl wears a gown and has full hair and a bird perched on one finger.) Gramma (VO): Once upon a time, she was a nice girl named Grace. (The girl, Grace, goes about her life.) Gramma (VO): She grew up in an idyllic village, and her days were filled with hard but rewarding work. (Shows her life going downhill as explained.) Gramma (VO): One day, her mother told her to set off for plumbing school, but Grace was tempted away by the woods, 'cause it had free Wi-Fi! And degrees in art! (She changes her appearance.) Gramma (VO): There in the woods, she switched her dress for a skimpy skirt, shaved her head, and worst of all -- got an eyebrow piercing! "What mother don't know what hurt her!" (Suddenly...) Gramma (VO): But on her way to get a face tattoo, she tripped and fell into a bush! Her piercing got tangled in the thorns! And sure enough, a forest beast gobbled her up! (Shows the rather downing ending.) Gramma (VO): She spent the rest of her days wishing she had listened to her mother, who by the way, died of disappointment because her daughter is so dumb! (Story ends.) Street Gramma: And that's why you should always listen to your mother. (Silence.) Bill: Ma that was...pretty heavy. Gramma: Of course it was! That's what makes it good! You know what you call a story without a moral? A POEM! I'd like to see you do better. Bill: You know what? I think I can. I was gettin' hung up on details before, but hearin' some examples, I think I got the hang of it now. Tilly: Good for you, Papa. Just don't forget to use your imagination. Bill: My imagination, huh? Well, let's see... Bill's story, part 2 (Phil is in the kitchen; again, shows each thing as Bill mentions.) Bill (VO): I imagine Phil was hungry, and wanted to cook a steak! But the steak was cold. Mouse (Nancy's voice): Okay. He's got a problem to solve. Good start. Bill (VO): So I imagine he had a microwave! Mouse (Nancy's voice): (annoyed) What...? Bill (VO): Yeah! And I imagine it's got all the settings: Reheat, Defrost, Potato -- Bee (Gramma's voice): Stop! Stop! Stop! Street (Everyone gives Bill negative comments.) Gramma: I wanna cut my ears off. Nancy: Tilly, why don't you go next? Bill: Aww, but -- Tilly: Don't worry, Papa. Just sit back, relax, and let Tilly take a turn! Bill: But I -- Tilly: See that guy over there? (She points to a tanned man with black glasses, a mustache and arm tattoos next to a peanut stand; he tosses his peanut in the air.) Tilly: I'd like you to meet Dr. Nelson P. Candycorn. The P stands for "Peanut". Tilly's story (The scene changes to the style of a 1930's cartoon; the man, Dr. Candycorn, eats the peanut and walks through a village of oversized shoe houses.) Tilly (VO): Dr. Candycorn lives in the crowded village of Shoeville, with his many, many beautiful children. But lately, their home has grown a bit tight on space. (He thinks; his tattoos turn into question marks, which then turn into light bulbs as he gets an idea and another light bulb appears over his head..) Tilly (VO): Luckily Dr. Candycorn was able to hatch the perfect plan! Dr. Candycorn (Tilly's voice): I'll fly to outer space! (He activates a rocket ship and launches.) Card (Tilly's voice): And so... (Shows Dr. Candycorn landed on a planet.) Tilly (VO): After a long journey, the doctor found the perfect planet! Planet (Tilly's voice): Achoo! Tilly (VO): However, the whole planet was sick. And also a puppy. (Shows the following events.) Tilly (VO): Dr. Candycorn played his magic flute to call all his majestic space whale friends. They danced so beautifully, that they cured the puppy planet's illness! And inside its mouth were even more puppies! (omniously) And one of them had a human face. (Shows everyone dancing.) Tilly (VO): And then they lived happily ever after! The end! (Story ends.) Street (Now it is sunset; everyone applauds Tilly.) Greens: Whoo-hoo!/Ooh, nice work, Tilly!/Well done, Tilly! Nancy: Whew! That was a trip. Tilly: Thanks, Mama. Every story needs a little whimsy. And puppies. Cricket: Yeah, that was great! Of course, nothing really exploded, but still really good. Y'know, despite the fact that nothing really exploded. Gramma: Well, that's enough lollygaggin'. Sun's goin' down, I gotta put on my night creams. (She starts to leave; the others follow and agree with her.) Nancy: Those were realy cool stories, guys! (Bill stares at them, left out and worried.) Nancy (OS): Oh, this family's full of great storytellers! Bill: Now wait just a minute! Rest of Greens: Hmm? Bill: I'm not done tellin' my story! Gramma: You mean there's more!?!? Nancy: Sorry, Bill. It's just gettin' late, and we're all a little tired. Bill: Just give me one last try? Gramma: Fine! But you'd better not screw it up! Or else I'LL DISOWN YOU. Bill: O-o-okay, I-I'll make it quick. Here we go. Bill's story, part 3 (Bill is in the kitchen; the microwave is cooking.) Bill (VO): When we last saw Phil, he was waitin' on his steak to finish cookin'. Street Rest of Greens: UGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Bill: Uh... (thinks) Dang it, Bill! You're losin' 'em already! Think, Bill, think! (talking, sternly) What would the boy do...? Bill's story, part 3 (Phil still waits.) Bill (VO): All of a sudden...Phil's microwave came to life! (Everything suddenly uses elements from the other stories heard; the microwave throws Phil out, and we are shown the following.) Bill (VO): Then, the monster burst through his house! It put itself on the highest setting, and studied torturing the neighborhood! Falcon (Cricket's voice): (flies in) Whoaaaa! Now that's what I call action! (is grabbed) Agh!! Bill (VO): Phil knew he had to do something, but what? He was just a boring old man. But maybe...maybe he wasn't! Yeah, maybe he was a retired firefighter the whole time! Winifred (Nancy's voice): (from one of the windows) Oh, cool! What an awesome character detail! Bill (VO): So Phil set to work savin' his neighbors. (The fire is put out.) Winifred (Nancy's voice): All right! Bill (VO): But his renegade appliance had other plans. Phil fought bravely, but he was no match for the microwave's five billion watts of destructive power!! He was running out of options, but luckily, something whimsical happened: his friends from outer space arrived as reinforcements! Dr. Candycorn (Tilly's voice): (on one of the whales) Always nice to have a little whimsy! (The whales start spraying the monster.) Bill (VO): With the microwave monster distracted, Phil knew exactly what to do: sometimes the best solution is the simplest one. (He unplugs the microwave; it deactivates.) Falcon (Cricket's voice): Oh, my gosh! Does it?! DOES IT!?!?! Phil (Bill's voice): Eeyup. (The monster explodes.) Phil (Bill's voice): It explodes. Falcon (Cricket's voice): (parachutes down) All right! Bill (VO): And so, the microwave monster was destroyed! Greens (as their characters): Yaaaaay! Bill (VO): But so was the town. Greens (as their characters): Aww... Bill (VO): Luckily, Phil's mom told him to buy insurance, and he listened to her, so everything was fixed. Greens (as their characters): Yaaaaay! Bill (VO): And that's why you always listen to your mother. Grace (Gramma's voice): (rides in on a horse) Finally, the lesson! (Story ends.) Street Bill: And they all lived happily ever after. The end. (The Greens cheer happily.) Tilly: Papa, that was fantastic! Nancy: Very creative. Gramma: I wouldn't read the book, but I'd see the movie. Bill: Aww, thanks. I guess creativity is all about findin' the right inspiration. And for me, that's...well, all of you! Cricket: Bravo, Dad! Well put, well put. That said, I do have some notes about your treatment of my creation, Falcon Tuxedo. First of all, Falcon would never need to be saved. Also, he's immune to fire. And his bowtie is a throwing star. That never came up, but I figured I'd mention it here. (Across the street, all the tourists they made stories about watch them.) Goth girl: Ugh, what's their story? Old man: Eh, tourists. Category:Episode Transcript Category:Season 1 Transcripts Category:P Category:A-Z